Hmmm...

My update for today isn't super happy, but since I mentioned it previously I thought I should bring some closure. My grandmother passed away yesterday, and I have to say that I am grateful that it wasn't a long, drawn out process in hospice. I can't imagine that would have been good for anyone, least of all my grandad.

But - here's a question that I've been thinking about. I know that grief affects different people in different ways. I wasn't terribly close with this grandmother, due to geographic distance, but she's the one I looked forward to visiting most and who I used to exchange letters with when I was a kid. Still, we would literally go months without contact.

So, shouldn't it logically follow that if you're not super close with someone - even a family member - that you're less affected by that loss? I'm only asking because I feel strangely out of sorts today and I don't really feel justified attributing that to the loss of a grandmother I haven't seen a couple of years. But nonetheless, I feel hypersensitive, my head hurts, my focus isn't stellar and I kinda want to cry. It just doesn't make sense in my own too-logical head.

There's nothing that needs to be done, I don't need to fly out there because there won't be a service. I am still thinking about trying to make a trip out there in May - maybe my dad will be ready to go back again at that time. I have to think that my grandad would still enjoy the company, and it might be good for me, too.

Anyway, that's it for today...thanks for the good thoughts and the prayers sent this direction. I guess it's one more life lesson/experience to add to the collection.

What to say?

I know that I've had less of a presence on here over the last month or so, but I really haven't had all that much to report on. I suppose it's the downside of having a blog that's not dedicated to a particular topic or not having kids yet to report on!

But...I suppose even everyday life can deserve an update from time to time.

These last few weeks have been hectic, but not for the usual reasons. Work's been busy, absolutely, and I'll probably be dedicating some evenings to it this week. But the hectic part last week was a baby blanket that I was crocheting. I have fallen in love with crocheting as a craft and like having something to do with my hands while I watch TV in the evening...and it was my forgetting my own afghan at my parents house over the holiday that inspired me to create a baby blanket for Lande's sister's shower this last weekend.

It turned out really well, all yellow, green and white. But...there was a funny part that I did not think through in terms of the two weeks I gave myself to make the blanket. As the rows get longer, the time it takes to finish a row gets longer. That's right - seems like a pretty basic assumption, but it was going so well and quickly at the beginning that it didn't occur to me that wrapping it up might take all the time I had in the last week! I'd look and think, only 10 more rows! And then, it hit me that each row was taking an hour to complete, lol!

Anyway, it was an excellent learning experience and I can't wait to do another one.


Lande was here over the weekend, and things are going well. He's easy to be with, I really enjoy his company, we discovered the joy of playing Lego Starwars together (not a bad Saturday night activity!), and are making plans for the next few visits. The hard part these days it taking him back to the airport. This long distance thing is hard...not tough to commit to, but hard to be without the other person when you're so happy spending time together.

The only other thing I'll make a quick note of here is that my grandmother was admitted to hospice over the weekend. She's had Alzheimers for some time now, and unfortunately this is the nature of the beast...but she will be the first grandparent I've lost. I know how fortunate I am that all four (well, technically 5, I love my step-grandmother!) grandparents are still alive, but I'm not completely sure what to do with this situation since there won't be a service and therefore no need to go back east to see my grandad. If you're reading, say a little prayer for my family as we go through these next few transitions.

Not meaning to be a downer of post today, but wanted to share a little of what's been going on...hope everyone is having a decent start to the week.

Happy New Year!

Wow - 2010! Hard to believe that we're at the start of a new decade, and I'm so thankful that 4 days in, it's started off well. It's been almost a month since I've been on here, so I've got some serious catching up to do for everyone. I suppose that I have so much to catch people up on is largely why it's been a month since I've been on here!

Ok - so Colorado Christmas. The concert was the weekend of 12/11-12/13, 4 total performances that were wonderful and hysterically funny all at one time. I am proud to say that one of our own, CSO Chorus member Sydney Fisher, was the soloist this year and did an amazing job. She walked the line just perfectly between classical and pop styles, which lent itself so well to the music and was just fantastic to listen to. Another reminder of how lucky I am to be in a group with so much talent!

Then, as those of you who have been to the show before know, Santa makes an appearance every year. This year, though, the Grinch showed up in all his glory for the 2nd half of the show! Friday night (opening night) was not terribly tight, and things didn't really go as planned for the Grinch's appearance. What was supposed to happen? Grinch shows up, talks about delaying Santa, sings "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" with the kids, and then has a conversation with the real Santa (who arrives) and winds up reading The Night Before Christmas to the kids and audience.

What actually happened? The Grinch showed up and made it through the song, but when Santa and Grinch went to look for the book in Santa's bag, they couldn't find it! Pretty soon, they're pulling the stuffing out of the bag (which was NOT audience ready - it was tissue paper, unwrapped boxes, bubble wrap) and the conductor goes down to help them. The Grinch says,"I know where it is, I'll be right back, stall them!" and goes tearing off the stage to try to find the book backstage.

He bounds back onstage a minute later and says, in his character's voice,"They TELL me it's IN there!"

At this point, the chorus, the orchestra and the entire audience is rolling since it's clear this wasn't staged but they're playing it off so well!

Eventually, they do find the book at the very bottom of the bag and the rest of the show goes on with no snags.

As for the two Saturday shows and the Sunday show, this bit was such a hit that they actually wound up writing it into the show, unbeknownst to any of the other performers (the first time they did it, Scott - our conductor - turned and looked at us like, really, again?) He totally got us, since the next step was to pull out a pink, shamwow snuggie, which Scott announced as "just what he wanted this year". By Sunday, Scott actually started the Night Before Christmas piece while wearing the pink shamwow snuggie!! :)

So, just goes to show that some of the best theatre is a result of an accident!

The following weekend, Dec 18-19, I got to do a little traveling and went to Springfield for the weekend to see Lande. He had invited me to the big holiday ball there, so we got totally spruced up and had a great time at the party (again, I do have pictures but I have to have 2 seconds at home to post them. It's on my list for this week!). But really, it was a great all-around weekend to see his place (really pretty apartment, the upstairs of a house), meet his pets (his cat Roo is tiny and sweet but a little shy, and one of the other cats in the house, Murphy, is 22 lbs and loved me immediately - apparently he has a thing for females), and see some of the town. We lost tons of time just talking, I got to see his pictures from when he lived in Russia, and I was introduced to a TV show called Dead Like Me. Great show, very sad that there are only two seasons since the writing is clever and the cast is excellent.

It was hard to come home, but at least he was headed to CO for the holidays two days after I left!

Then, we get into Christmas and New Year's. Christmas Eve and early morning I spent at my brother's house since I wanted to be with my little nephew. He still thinks the best part of gifts are the paper and bows, but he's a smart little guy and figures out all of the toys quickly. He did get a wagon from Santa, which he decided was great for crawling in, then crawling out, then crawling in, then crawling out...you get the idea. After that, we went to our parent's house for the rest of Christmas day and took it slow and easy. All in all, we had a great Christmas, lots of games and toys for all, and quality time with each other.

PS - for the record, it is possible to find Lego Starwars for Wii. I have it for PS3. BEST GAME EVER!

Last but not least, partying in Ft. Collins for New Year's. Excellent party, lots of fun people, and the highlight for me - lighting off my first-ever firecrackers!! I'm sure we drove the neighbors crazy with the fireworks, but they were SO worth it!

Now, sadly, it is back to the grind and there's little possibility right now of things slowing down much at work. But, I'm going to try to cram in as much as possible in my 8-9 hours so that I can have a life outside of work...I am such a happier person when there's room for better balance, so I need to find a way to create that better balance!

I hope you all had wonderful holidays filled with lots of loved ones and joy, and here's to the start of what I hope will be a terrific year for us all!