A Good Dose of Inspiration

Lately I have been feeling very bored, which is a weird description for my life. Too busy, yes. Overwhelming, often. So then it seems strange that bored would also tie to those words. Because while I'm moving a thousand miles per hour, it's all beginning to feel the same.

I have a problem with being present in the moment, and I think taking the long view actually hurts all of the experiences that I'm meant to be having right now. I worry about the "what if this isn't going to/supposed to work out" and the "how on earth is that going to happen" rather than enjoying the exact place that everything actually is and trusting that it's that way for a reason. If I would just let things either work out - or not - rather than thinking them to death, I think it would open a better window for me to know myself even better than I do. By going with the moment, it would better allow me to react to how I really feel rather than worrying about the ramifications...it would allow me to just be and to take care of myself in the process.

Moving to this philosophy is going to take some work, but it's been on my mind a lot lately as I find myself worrying about things that just can't be addressed right at this exact moment. And then I don't enjoy the moments that I have. I may need the occasional reminder that everything will be fine...but I'm going to try to focus more on the here and now to see if that doesn't help relieve some of the boredom.

I'm in the middle of reading Siddhartha and there's a line that caught my attention. Not having it in front of me right now, all I can share is the gist, but it basically talked about how he'd been through a period where he fed his body, but starved his soul. He goes on to reflect on the way he'd been living and the experiences he'd been having...he had made money, experienced women, enjoyed good food and nice clothes. But ultimately, he was left friendless, miserable and nearly suicidal until he rediscovered that the little voice in himself that reminded him that there was still a journey to live for. It just wasn't a journey of things.

I love how this translates, since it acts as a reminder to not place so much value on things you want, or even the direction you think life should take. Instead, the focus should be on finding enlightenment...not necessarily happiness, but a peace and acceptance within yourself that's meant to carry you through everything else that's going on.

I have to remind myself that it's ok to be in a constant state of "work in progress", and that sometimes it's out glitches that make us interesting.

So here's to finding inspiration to make the best of the journey...wherever I may end up. And I say this a lot, but it always is worth repeating...a thanks to my wonderful friends who are so supportive of both my random joys and my most confusing disappointments and fears. I'm blessed to have so much love in my life!